I feel I've been lied to

[greenelsewhere]

Okay, so I don't entirely feel as if I've been lied to, really. I just feel confused in the best possible way. Let me try to focus this... Contrary to popular belief I've never been what you would call an "A" student, not since Elementary school, but back then we used Numbers instead of letters, where 1 was the best... But I digress. By the time I had gotten to High School I was a mediocre student, my average was 75, and options didn't count as being "worth" Anything, so really I was more like a 60 average. Add on top of that I had a newly discovered Learning Disability. I figured that I was stupid and that it was better just to get used to it, rather than complain and make everyone around me grumpy, we all have our place and if my place is to help someone smarter than me succeed then fine, - at least I've found my place, right?

As I said earlier people think I'm smart, this is because I managed to get awesome Drama teachers whole taught life lessons through Drama exercises. To make a long story short I was taught, small talk, how appear (As I put it) smarter than I was, and most importantly how to put my life into perspective. Whether this was their intentions or not, (I have no idea) but all the morals I had learned over the years seemed to clicked. Subsequently, I learned to calm down, from here I began a transition, to identify my weaknesses and truly make an effort to improve.

I did improve considerably, I had a few set backs, and by the end of grade twelve I was never and "A" student, but I was closer. More like almost 80s (Like the majority of my stuff was 80 and above, but most of my stuff was option and art based... So it "didn't count" as I used to say.) I think I had one mark that was bellow 80, but on the final I brought it up. I think I ever gave myself credit for all the work I put school, even if it was "Just Art".

I bring this up now because, I am an "A" student in University, I feel this is odd. Good, but still odd. Isn't University harder, I feel I'm tricked or like I've missed some fundamental aspect of the definition of "A" Student. Like I've been lied to in high school, or more cruelly I'm being lied to right now on my midterms and this is some mockery of my desire to be a University student and they'll just turn it around on me, point and laugh... I've never been an "A" Student, not really, so why is it now that when I succeed I can't just accept it as I did with my failures?